Friday, August 21, 2009

Why I Love Black Women

Last year, I interviewed for the chief student affairs position at a Black women’s college in the South. During my interview, people kept asking me “why do you want to be here?” I knew that the seemingly-innocuous question obscured the one they really wanted to ask: “why do you—a Latino/Jewish man who will be seen as white down here and is also gay—want to work with and for Black women.” In my meeting with the all of my potential supervisees—all of them Black women—I told the group “you do not have to be a Black woman to care about and want to support Black women.” I commented that few people who looked like me had historically cared about Black women so I assumed there might be mistrust. In fact, men who looked like me had often been the source of great pain and oppression. However, I explained, that mistrust would not stop me from working on behalf of Black women.

I love Black women—personally, professionally and politically. I realize that this surprises many people. Some wonder if I am simply fetishizing Black women as sassy, “keepin’ it real” sistas, sort of a 21st century Sapphire. Unfortunately, many gay men—white men particularly—love to conjure this stereotype when meeting Black women. Personally, Black women have played a critical role in my life. I have known too many Black women to ever pigeon-hole them. I know too well that Black women are as diverse as any other group. No, my love comes from a keen understanding of the role Black women have played in my life and in American history.

During my college career, it was a small group of Black women who helped me be comfortable with myself as someone with multiple subordinated identities. As a biracial gay man from a working-class background, I often felt schizophrenic in a society that could only see in one-dimensional terms. Most importantly, my friends helped me survive at a college where I was the only openly gay man on campus. These friends taught me how to hold my head high while walking through groups of people throwing slurs at me. These women introduced me to the work of Audre Lorde, bell hooks, and other Black feminists/womanists to help me work toward my own liberation by understanding the systems that oppressed me. These works helped me understand that I was not the problem, society was.

Black women have also shaped how I see the world. Since college, I have been a student of Black feminism and womanism. `Black feminism` argues that sexism, classism, racism and other forms of oppression are inextricable from one another. Social change movements, including other forms of feminism, that only focus on single dimensions of identity will always exclude large groups of people it purports to help. Black feminists argue that the liberation of black women entails freedom for all people, since it would require the end of racism, sexism, and class oppression.

Mary Church Terrell, Mary McLoed Bethune, Ella Baker, Fannie Lou Hamer, Shirley Chisholm, Angela Davis, Rose Parks, Ruby Dee, Betty Shabbaz, Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Ellen Brown, Faye Wattleton, Dorothy Height, Ida B. Wells-Barnett. All of these women—and many more—have worked to create a more just society for us all. Contemporary Black women such as Melissa Harris-Lacewell, Julieanne Malveaux, Barbara Lee, Valerie Jetter and Carol Mosely-Braun among many, many others continue the work of creating a more equitable world. Not enough thanks are given to Black women who have historically fought for the dignity and well-being of all people.

As a social justice activist, I know that white men and women are often the face of an issue, even when Black women are disproportionately affected. During the fight against the military ban against gay men and lesbians in the early 1990s, the people highlighted who were discharged were mostly white men with a few white women shown. This image hid the fact that Black women were kicked out of the military for being homosexual at a higher rate than whites of both sexes and Black men. How did an issue that impacted Black women the most, like the military ban on gay people, get seen as a white man’s issue?

I have also seen Black women’s concerns be ignored. Lupus is a disease that affects Black women in large numbers but does not get the attention it deserves. It is seen as “merely” a Black women’s disease and thus not important. Black women have fought for the rest of us and it is time that we fight for Black women.


For that reason, I follow the leadership of Black women and listen to the words of Black women. As I mentioned earlier, Black women are a diverse group. Thus, I will not necessarily agree with the things all Black women say. But as a progressive who is committed to a more just world for all people, I know that Black women’s opinions, research, and voices are integral to ensuring that our politics are inclusive of all people. This commitment includes the projects I support financially. I donate regularly to the Black Women’s Health Initiative, a national organization that's committed to devoted solely to advancing the health and wellness of America's Black women and girls through advocacy, community health and wellness education and leadership development. I donate to this organization because too often the lives of Black women are not considered in health care research. Moreover, I know from a standpoint of enlightened self-interest that if healthcare is better for Black women, it will be better for all people.


Although Black women are seen as selfless and never needing assistance, Black women are not the emotionless rocks of strength that society paints them as. While I appreciate the strength that Black women have needed to have over the centuries, I insist on seeing Black women as human, not as stereotypes. Black women have been demonized, abused, and ignored for too long. Black women have been maligned as castrating, too angry and even the source of the oppression of Black men. It is time that we stand by your side and defend you, love you, thank you and listen to you. You have given me so very much as a human being; I shall always be there for you.

16 comments:

  1. lovely post! very heartfelt and honest

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  2. In the words of our president, "You know I love you back!"

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  3. As a women of color (Hispanic Texan-now Californian)...I totally appreciate your sentiments, love & appreciation of blackwomen, and willingness to give love back...

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  4. Insightful and wonderful article. Many of the women you mentioned were my heroes as well, led only by my mother & grandmother, Coretta Scott King & Harriet Tubman. I also herald the contemporaries you have mentioned. I hope more women of color can see themselves and their contemporaries with the appreciation you expressed here. Thanx for sharing your 'roots.'

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  5. That was a wonderful essay. Thanks for expressing yourself so eloquently.

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  6. Thank you! Wonderful, insightful post.

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  7. Very honest post. I appreciate your multifaceted ways of detailing the intersections of oppression that Black women face daily. I agree with others, that this piece needs to be shared more widely!

    -www.thebravebird.tumblr.com

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  8. Thank you so much for this post. As a Black woman I often feel that our issues are ignored to privilege Whiteness. It can be difficult to speak truth to power but in doing so you are fighting for the freedom of us all.

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  9. This is so wonderful! I love it and love you right back man!

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  10. Lord Knows, no disrespect is intended, but I want to see black African Americans loving on, and appreciating ourselves and each other nationally. I too LOVE and respect my people, our culture and our history. And it is wonderful to be genuinely appreciated by any race. But, in this season of our journey as a nation, I need and want love, appreciation, and a sense of community from my brothers and sisters, again. I believe that is the next phase in our journey from slavery to real freedom. To find healing through connection with God and each other. That is what I recognized during the Civil Rights Movement, we were connected by suffering, challenge and hope. Can we now become connected by suffering,self-love, national-love and hope for our children? We have broken all barriers, the world knows we are equal, we just need to affirm that in our own hearts. Thank you Pink Pink Elephant author for your kind words, we'll take it from here...Rise up my sistahs and proclaim your value and worth. Shout it from your boardrooms, bedrooms, kitchens, businesses, pulpits, and neighborhoods. We Are A Phenomenal People, just look how far we have come.

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  11. I stumbled across this courtesy of the Angry Black Woman website and...I cried because...this was just so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much.

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  12. The feeling is EXTREMELY mutual!!...and thank you so much for the appreciation. That respect is almost unheard of these days, and it warms my heart to know that someone still loves us unconditionally.

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  13. as practically impossible as it may be for some to believe, there are straight white males who love/appreciate black women for all the same reasons.

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  14. I cam across this blog through Angry Black woman website. It warms my heart for you to speak so positive about my sisters and I. I am happy you have had the experience of having numerous Black women mold and shape your life. You do not see us as the attitudinal, loud-talking, aggressive women that we are stereotyped as in America. Thank you for the kind swords.

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